


I'm a Loser

by thequidditchpitch_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Comedy, Marauders' Era, The Quidditch Pitch: School Days
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-07-28
Updated: 2006-07-28
Packaged: 2018-10-27 17:59:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10813968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thequidditchpitch_archivist/pseuds/thequidditchpitch_archivist
Summary: James is completely clueless.  Why are women so confusing?





	I'm a Loser

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Annie, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Quidditch Pitch](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Quidditch_Pitch), which went offline in 2015 when the hosting expired, at a time I was not able to renew it. I contacted Open Doors, hoping to preserve the archive using an old backup, and began importing these works as an Open Doors-approved project in April 2017. Open Doors e-mailed all authors about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [The Quidditch Pitch collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thequidditchpitch/profile).

Brow furrowed, he stared into the cold fireplace of the Gryffindor Common Room. He wasn't sure exactly where he'd gone wrong, but he did know that Evans was peeved as hell. Not that that was a change. James was cold and he wondered who put out the stupid fire. He exhaled and stood up, jamming his hands into his robe pockets and started up the stairs. _I swear to God,_ he thought, scowling, _if anyone gets in my way, they're getting hexed_. 

James _had_ been in a good mood earlier. The day before he'd scored eight times for Gryffindor. They beat Ravenclaw and were now in the lead for the House Cup. He swore, he _swore_ , that Evans had looked at him with a smile on her face. He knew she couldn't fly straight on a broom if her life depended on it, but she still went to all the games. James liked that about her. If there was anything he could respect, it was a woman who liked sports. 

In fact, she'd even congratulated him afterwards. He'd been so flabbergasted he just said something like "Buh...th...huh?" and she smiled at him. Smiled! He'd nearly tripped over his own feet, but managed not to make a complete arse of himself. When his brain finally processed what had just happened, he'd screwed up his courage and prepared himself to ask out Lily Evans for what was, by his calculations, the thirteenth time since their Fourth Year. Lucky thirteen, right? 

So today, he'd gone down to the Common Room, happy to catch Lily by herself. James puffed out his chest, ran his hand through his hair to make it look roguishly handsome, and affixed a crooked and - he hoped - charming smile to his face. Strutting over to stand directly in front of Lily's chair, he authoritatively bellowed, "Evans!" 

Startled, Lily looked up from the Defence text she'd been reading. "Potter?" she replied, in less authoritative tones. 

Cockily, he said, "I saw the way you looked at me after the match and it's completely obvious how much you want me. So, next Hogsmeade weekend, you and me. What d'ya say?" 

Lily put down her textbook, stood up and smiled. She took a step closer to James, who now could see exactly how green her eyes were. His breath hitched a bit. Then, she reeled back and smacked him across the face. Fire blazing in her eyes, she yelled, "You don't _ever_ speak to a lady like that!" Then, textbook in hand, she stomped upstairs to her dormitory. 

Thirteen tries, thirteen rejections and, by his calculations, four slaps from Lily Evans in the last two years. James flopped down on his bed and rubbed his cheek. What was he doing _wrong_? 

 


End file.
